Our Fairytale
by TLS Lyrics and Lemons Contest
Summary: Submission #24 for TLS Lyrics & Lemons O/S Contest


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**TLS Lyrics and Lemons Contest**

Song: If I Die Young, by The Band Perry

**http : / / tinyurl . com / 34kfvcw**

Rating: M

Word Count: 7490

Pairing: Edward and Bella

Summary: Life isn't always sunshine, but two people can learn how to dance in the rain. Happiness can be found in the darkest moments of life if you have love.

Disclaimer: I'm not Stephanie Meyer, I don't own the characters.

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**Our Fairytale**

Once upon a time there lived a girl who always knew her life would end in death.

What? You think just because a story starts with a once upon a time, it will end with a happily ever after? Who's to say death isn't exactly that.

I'm Isabella Swan. And I have been dead for three days. I've been following them...the people I left behind; I wonder if sometimes they feel me. I don't want them to cry for me, because if you could see heaven...for even a second you wouldn't ever cry over death. You would welcome it.

I didn't want to be put six feet underground, but that's exactly where my body is heading. Me? Well. I'm invisible to the eyes of the human body. I think the souls can sense me and if they stepped out of the confines of the bodies they hold onto so tightly, they would see me.

Six feet isn't as deep as I once thought, it was I think to myself as I peer down. It's raining today. The women's heels sink into the earth. Umbrella's keep them dry, single roses in everyone's hands.

I guess they almost got the rose part right.

My mom wipes her eyes; I can see how strong she is trying to be. I kneel in front of her; the wet ground is a non-factor to my incorporeal body. I place my hand on her face.

"I'm okay, momma," I whisper. Grandpa told me the quieter we speak to them, the more likely they are to hear us.

The priest does his reading, and then ends in a prayer I'm not listening to. It's not for me, it's to comfort them.

My mother places her rose first. She kisses her hand then places it onto of the coffin with a sob. My father is next followed by Jasper his wife Alice clutching to his side. She is the sister I never had, but always wanted. I'm so glad he has her.

Rose after rose gets placed on the stupid white coffin they all think I inhibit. It was just a shell, my body. This life here on earth was just one phase of a very long life.

_Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother. She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors..._

The rain stops, the sun peeks out, and as my mother steps away from the grave, she is bathed in color. She smiles, and frees me a little bit more.

I look all around for him. I see his parents, but not him. I'm worried about him. So, so worried.

I watch them all in the line hoping I missed him, everyone is done. Plus, I could never miss him. Everyone is getting ready to go. I wish I could slap him because if I could, I would track his ass down and slap some sense in him.

I'm startled by the screeching of a car I would know anymore.

It's the silver Volvo I use to ride to school in almost every day. I turn to see it driving way too fast for the inside of a cemetery, shaking my head at his behavior. There is no one actually resting here, so I forgive him.

He thinks he failed me. But he is so wrong. He saved me in so many ways. He gave me what I wanted most before I left. A love I never thought I would be lucky enough to find.

The rain has started again, and he steps out of the car, unfazed by the down-pouring of water.

Everyone stops to stare at him as he comes to my grave.

"Sorry I'm late," he says softly to the coffin. Except I'm not in the coffin, I am next to him.

"Take your time...I'm not going anywhere." I tell him, with a nonchalant shrug. I lace my fingers with his. If I breathed, I'd be breathless when he looks to his left, his eyes boring into mine, then down at his hand.

He shakes his head, and then pulls his hand up into his wet hair.

"I brought the words of the love song." He digs in his pocket and pulls out a folded up piece of paper. "Stupid corny song." he mumbles, placing it on my grave.

"I love you." he says, taking his rose and instead of placing it on top, he lets it fall below.

I watch the rose fall, and my whole body buzzes as he walks right through me.

Don't be mad I started at the end; because it's my beginning.

_Bury me in satin. Lay me down in a bed of Roses. Sink me in the river at dawn. Send me away with the words of a love song._

Death is a part of life that no one escapes.

I had never been in love. Maybe it would have been better had that remained the same. I didn't want to leave behind one more person in tears over my death. My heart ached for those I knew I would leave behind.

My devoted and always overly optimistic mother. My brave faced father who would always look in my eyes and see the five year old girl that he refused to see as grown and mature. My brother Jasper who had always protected me. Jazz is older than me by ten years. I remember meeting Alice meeting Alice for the first time when I was twelve. He was in his second year of college and mom explained to me that Jasper met a girl at school and she was going to come home with him for spring break.

I'll never forget the first time she walked through the door. I was in awe of her beauty. She seemed to be in slow motion those first few seconds. Her smile was so bright, so genuine. Her green eyes stood out against her dark brown hair that flowed down her back. Petite and perfect, and she made Jasper happier than I ever saw him. I wanted to be her. She spent time with me that week. Sh did girl things with me like facials and pedicures. She dressed me up, French braided my hair. She even brought me a friendship bracelet. She made me feel as beautiful as her. I announced that week to the entire family, when we were at Olive Garden, that I wanted Alice to be my sister.

That's when Jasper said he hoped one day that would happen. Six months later, they announced their engagement.

How'd such a seemingly perfect life get cut way too short?

Cancer was my grim reaper. The month before Jasper and Alice's wedding, were I was the junior maid of honor, I got sick. I don't know if sick is the right word. I had a seizure. I was rushed to the hospital, where I had an MRI and a tumor was seen on the part of my brain that controls speech. A few days later I was in the OR, having brain surgery so they could biopsy a part of the tumor. We hoped it was nothing, but it was something. It was something life altering, or in my case ending. The day before the wedding was when we found out it was cancer. High grade astrocytoma that was going to spread fast was my diagnosis. They said it was inoperable. It was too deep in my brain tissue. I could do chemo and try to shrink it, giving me more time, but the truth of the matter was, it wouldn't be enough. The doctors said I could buy some time with chemo, but it wouldn't save me, only prolong the inevitable.

I was fourteen. At fourteen, death was something that happened when you grew old. I didn't even picture myself turning thirty, let alone dying.

I started Chemo two days after the wedding. Jasper wanted to cancel his honeymoon, but I told him I would feel guilty if he stayed.

The chemo was awful. Every adverse side effect that could happen did happen. I cried for days on end, and if that was what I had to endure to live longer, I wanted no parts of it. The doctors told me if I stopped, I wouldn't make it past my sixteenth birthday. I didn't want to focus on the dying. I wanted to focus on the living. And unless some immortal with a soul came along and saved me from the doom that awaited me, I knew within the year I would be buried in the ground, or burned to ashes. Neither seemed like anything close to appealing. Being Bella was all I wanted. A person I recognized when I looked in the mirror, a person that didn't feel sick despite the invasion taking over her body from the inside.

Make A Wish foundation came to ask me if they could provide me with anything before I died.

I smiled, "I don't want to go Disney world. I don't want to meet some boy band. I want to fall in love." I wanted to love someone the way Jasper loved Alice. I wanted to be loved the same way.

They told me if I thought of anything they could do for me, to let them know. I often wonder if they sent him to me.

Him, being Edward Cullen. He wasn't some immortal with the gift of everlasting life. He had the soul part though, took him a while to find it himself. I always knew it was there though.

It was my first day of high school. I'll never forget seeing him for the first time. I was registering late, due to the chemo, but going to school and being a teenager was what I wanted to do during the time I had left. I did not want to sit in hospitals hooked up to chemicals that made it even more glaringly obvious that I was dying.

I was very bashful and reserved. When I saw him talking to Mrs. Cope in the guidance office, I could feel my face getting red.

His jeans were sliding down his backside, revealing the fruit of loom label. The back pocket was ripped and hanging off at the top, revealing even more of his underwear. It was hunter green. His hair was golden brown, thick, and looked as if he rolled out of bed, ran his fingers through it then was done with it.

All this and I had yet to see his face.

"Be right with you, Dear." Mrs. Cope told me with a sweet smile. I smiled in return, taking a seat.

That was when he turned around to look at me. Breathtaking. Strong jaw. Blue-green eyes. He didn't look at me long enough, but when he turned away again, I reminded myself to breathe. Mrs. Cope continued on discussing his schedule.

"I already took Chemistry at my old school...Is there something open in Biology or anything?" he asked.

Mrs. Cope typed away on her keyboard. "Your schedule would need to be completely rearranged."

"Then rearrange it," I could hear the smile in his tone. "I'm not attached to it." He leaned closer on the desk.

Mrs. Cope let out a huff, "Go have a seat, I'll get it figured out."

He slapped his hand down on her desk, "Thanks," he told her, spinning around then making his way to the seat next to mine, with a shit eating grin.

He gave me a head nod to acknowledge my presence. I wondered if I was drooling. I used my thumb and index finger to wipe the corner of my mouth... nope, no drool.

"Hey," I smiled and responded to him in a soft tone.

"Bella, I have your schedule right here, honey," Mrs. Cope called me up.

"Thanks," I got up, and took it from her hand.

"Mr. Cullen, yours is ready as well, do you need help getting to Bio? If so, Bella is also in that class," Mrs. Cope turned to me, "You don't mind showing Edward to Biology today, do you?"

"It's no problem." I looked at Edward, and he walked ahead, holding the door open for me.

"Ladies first," he smirked.

Beautiful and considerate. I was in trouble.

I shouldn't have been surprised that there was only one table left in bio, leaving Edward and I in the back of the class room, lab partners for the year...or, in my case, half... or less.

I learned a lot about Edward. Like he was a Sophomore, but should have been a junior. He got held back. When I asked him why, he chuckled. "I discovered sex, and focused less on school and more on girls."

I almost didn't believe him. I might not have if he hadn't single handily broken up the boopsie twins of Forks High School. Lauren and Jessica. BFF's foreva. (I'm totally rolling my eyes). See he fucked them both. They started to fight over a boy that already got what he wanted from both of them. There was nothing to win.

He was very smart, but very lazy. He never did his homework, and during labs, I did almost all of the work. There was even an extra credit paper we could do, he didn't offer to help so I did it by myself.

"Hey," Edward said, leaning back in his chair balancing on the two legs.

"Yeah?"

"You did that extra credit shit, didn't you?"

"Ah...I did."

"I hate to ask," with a thumb all four legs of the chair back hit the ground, his face close to mine. "I'm, like, not doing that great...if I bring home a C, my father is going to kill me, do you think maybe you'd put my name on it?"

God, I wanted to say yes. I wanted to do whatever he wanted me to do, but I wasn't in the business of being used.

"Why not start doing your homework to bring up your grade...or asking me to work on the paper together to get the credit you deserved...you know, that you _earned_? I worked hard on this, by myself. I'm not going to hand it in with your name on it because you think every girl you smile at will drop her panties and self-respect for you. I'm not every girl." I seethed at him, turning away.

He put his hands up in surrender, tilted the chair back again, "Sorry I asked." He chuckled.

Later that day, he cornered me by my locker. "Did you need something?" I asked turning the dial on the small locker.

"What's with the sweaters?" he asked, dragging his finger along the brown knit sweater I was wearing. I dressed conservative, preppy even.

"I get cold...I like sweaters...does it really matter?" I sighed.

"Go out with me." It was not a question; it was more like a demanding plea.

"Go out with you?" I repeated after him.

"That's what I said isn't it?" He mocked confusion. He placed his hands on either side of me, palms flat against my locker, caging me in. He stared down at me.

"Why do you want to go out with me? Do you have, like, a bucket list of types of girls to screw, do I fit the nerdy-sweater-virgin-girl bill?"

He laughed, "That's why."

I was stunned he would admit that. I think my mouth was open in shock, my eyes possibly bugging out of their sockets, because he laughed harder, and then clarified himself.

"Because you're so deceiving. All quiet and shit, then out comes this sassy girl, and since the first time I saw you, I couldn't stop thinking how fucking beautiful you are."

"I'd like to go out with you," I admitted. He had no idea I was sick. The only person that knew at school was my best friend Angela. It was exactly what I wanted, it was something normal. I wanted to go out on a date. I wanted my father to try to intimidate the boy that knocks on the door to take his little girl out. I wanted to be kissed. I wanted a boy to try and feel me up, because I didn't get the whole fascination with boobs they had. Mostly, I really, really didn't want to die a virgin.

"Ah, let me get your number?" he asked, moving his hands, he fumbled around for his backpack that hung from one shoulder, taking out his cell phone. It was the first time I saw the glimpse of how vulnerable he was.

"One condition though," I started, pointing my finger at him. He waited for me to finish, and I said, "Don't go getting all attached to me."

One date turned into two, and two dates turned into him holding my hand in school, and a month into it, I had to tell him how sick I was, because he was attached. I was attached, and I didn't want to have to leave him.

I wanted to remember the first time he kissed me outside my door after our third date. It was so gentle and sweet. It was natural. I was so afraid I wouldn't know what to do, but his lips touched mine, I felt his mouth open against my mouth. I responded without thought by slightly opening mine, and I tasted his tongue. Cinnamon flavor lingered from the piece of gum he had been chewing earlier. When I followed his lead, my tongue entered his mouth, he moaned. It made us get more intense, my hand gripping the hair at the base of his neck; he pulled me tighter against his chest. The pressure of his fingers on my hip bones hurt so good. I could kiss Edward Cullen forever.

My father was peeking out the window, and when the kiss went on for too long, he turned on and off the porch light, forcing us to step away from each other.

"Sorry," I mumbled to him, his forehead rested on mine. I turned back to look at my father in the window before he quickly ducked out of view.

Edward glanced back too, "S'okay," he shrugged. My hand was in his, he gave it a gentle squeeze. "I better go...I don't want him saying you can't see me." He said it like it be the worst thing that could happen, and that is when the guilt of him not knowing started to eat away at me.

I smiled at him best I could, "Talk to you later."

"Yeah," he pecked my cheek.

Ten minutes later, he called me.

Edward and I were sitting on my porch, and I was trying to find the words. I wasn't sure how you tell someone you have been given months to live.

"...is that true?" His words penetrated my thoughts.

"I'm sorry, I missed that...is what true?" I asked Edward. I was so lost in the memory of our first kiss and the thoughts about how to tell him about my cancer, that I missed everything he was saying.

"Mike Newton asked you out on a date, is that true?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. Mike did ask me to go see a movie with him a few days ago. I told him no. Before Edward Cullen moved to town, Mike was the big man on campus. I would have died - no pun intended - and gone to heaven if he asked me out. For the most part I felt invisible amongst my peers. I wasn't a nerd, or a loser, or someone people didn't want to associate with, I wasn't popular, or in a clique, I just was.

Since Edward started holding my hand in the halls and driving me to and from school, I got noticed a lot more by my classmates. I guess Mike was trying to feel like he was still the man, that Edward was just the 'shiny new toy'. I suppose the best place to start would be with the girl he was with currently. The leftovers weren't going to prove Mike was better than Edward.

"Oh, ah...he did ask me to see a movie or something one day in English."

"What did you say?"

"Do I detect some jealousy?" I giggled, poking his side. He swatted my hand away.

"No...I just," he nuzzled his face into my neck, "I don't want you to see other guys. I don't want to see other girls."

His lips moved along my neck, he gently nibbled on my earlobe.

I pushed him away. "Edward, there's something you should know about me." I started.

He looked at me, confused and worried. I looked down, closed my eyes, I felt the tears stain my cheeks.

"I have cancer," I whispered, then took a minute to let it sink in before making eye contact with him.

His green eyes were full of fear and doubt. "Cancer?" he asked.

"I have a brain tumor...The doctors don't think I'll make it to my sixteenth birthday."

"Are you fucking with me? This isn't funny." His beautiful features were marred with anger.

"I'm not joking."

Edward darted up and started pacing along my porch. His hand pulled at his hair.

"I'm sorry...I didn't think all this would happen. I just thought...I'd go on a date. Feel normal. I never thought you'd actually _want_ to be with me."

He stopped dead in his tracks and stared at me. He took three big steps and came to me, taking my hands and pulling me up. "How could anyone not want to be with you, Bella? I've never seen anyone more beautiful on the inside and the outside then you." The anger was gone, but the pain was plain as day.

"You don't have to say things cause you feel bad. I know I'll never have a boy love me like in a song."

"I wish you could see the girl I see." He took my face in his hands, tilted my head up and kissed me.

He sat with me late that night, I tried to answer all his questions and tell him about my type of cancer. His father was the new chief of surgery at the local hospital, and he had gotten it in his head that his dad would be able to cure me.

I agreed to let him look at my medical files just to appease him. Dr. Cullen then had to explain to a very angry Edward that there was nothing to be done.

"It's not fair!" Edward yelled. "She doesn't deserve this! There has to be something you missed! Maybe there's some great brain surgeon we could get her to see..."

I watched painfully as Edward tried to fight the same fight my mother tried to fight when we first found out.

"Stop," I urged him, reaching out and touching his arm.

He turned to me, pulling me in his arms, and cried on my shoulder. Right in front of his parents.

"It's okay," I told him. "You have given me so much."

He didn't want me to leave his side. I sat with him on his living room couch until he fell asleep.

Dr. Cullen came in as I was stroking his hair, just watching him sleep. He quietly offered to drive me home.

On the drive over, he told me how much Edward had changed in the last month, and that he thought it was because of my influence.

He was doing better in school. He wasn't getting in trouble and his attitude improved. He also expressed how relieved he was Edward settled down with one girl. He never brought a girl home before, but his father had noticed I was the only female calling the house at all anymore.

"Edward has shown me a lot too," I admitted. "At first I was so angry that I wasn't going to have much time with him...like when I was a kid, I gave my Barbie to my best friend Angela. Except the next day, I wanted her back. I cried to my dad to take me to get the Barbie. He told me I couldn't be an Indian-giver." I took a deep breath and tried to explain it so it made sense. "It's like God gave me Edward, but is going to take him away. Except, that's not why. There's a bigger picture here...for both of us. I haven't figured out all of the pieces yet...and I might not until I get to those gates, but I've already gotten so much happiness and joy...and he has shown me how special I am."

"Thank you Bella." I wasn't sure exactly what Dr. Cullen was thanking me for in that moment. I think it was for changing the path his son was on. Possibly giving his son...worth. I never knew until I died how insecure Edward was. The reason he put on such a tough boy act. You know, the act of not giving a shit, because if you didn't give a shit, you can't fail.

At first, Edward was different with me. I had to tell him I wasn't made of glass, I wouldn't shatter. I wanted to be treated normal.

My fifteenth birthday came and went, Edward and Charlie bounded over their love of Baseball. Except they fought over Edward being a diehard Red Sox's fan.

The night I lost my virginity wasn't exactly normal. Typically the guy is pressuring the girl.

"Please, Edward...I want to have that experience. You had no problem having sex with all those other girls" I almost whined while we were in his bedroom. It seemed like the perfect chance, his parents were out to dinner.

"Don't use that dying a virgin shit on me and you mean more to me than those other girls."

"Edward, I'm like stunned my boyfriend wants to wait until the right time...whatever that might be, but I'm ready. And I don't have time to wait." It felt like the millionth time I was begging my boyfriend for sex.

Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, it was like the third, but a person can only be turned down for sex so many times. I thought it was so sweet that I had a boy that wanted to wait, make sure I was ready. But then like with any teenaged girl, doubt creeps in. That stupid voice that says, "See, he doesn't really want you. What guy would turn down sex? He just feels bad you're dying."

I told that voice to go to hell, 'cause no one could deny the way he looked at me. Not even my father - who I really should not have been thinking about while trying to seduce my boyfriend.

Edward just stared at me. He always made comments to me, like, "Where'd ya go?" I think he resisted the urge this time, knowing it would be a loaded question.

"Please," I whimpered, my lips inches from his.

His thumb stroked my cheek. "Everything I do," he whispered, and then kissed my lips. "I do it for you," he kissed my lips again. "I love you like that song."

Our tongues moved against each other for what I hoped forever felt like. When his lips moved down my neck, and his hands up my shirt, finally lifting it over my head, I kissed this spot below his ear that always gave him the chills.

With a heavy sigh, "I love you, too," escaped my lips.

Edward walked us backward causing the back of my knee's to hit his bed. He gently guided me down, hovered above me and began to guide us toward the head of his bed.

I fumbled with the buttons on his flannel. His lips stayed connected to mine, his hands roamed down my back, over my ribs, into the back pocket of his jeans where he gave me a squeeze. I tried to get closer to him, the buttons finally undone on his shirt.

My one hand held the back of his neck, with the other I explored his muscular chest. He pulled me closer, his hand on the back of my thigh hitched my leg over his hip.

He unhooked my bra with one hand, hovered above me, "Are you sure?"

"Do you really have to ask that?" I kissed him, hoping to show him exactly how sure I was.

I raised my hips underneath him, moaning when I felt how hard he was.

Our breathing was heavy, his mouth and hands were all over my chest. He left his hands on my breasts as he kissed down my stomach. Undoing my jeans, he pulled them off, his hand rubbed over my panties. Then his lips came down and he kissed me over my panties causing me to whimper, his eyes stared up at me the whole time, so full of hunger.

I coaxed him up toward me, desperately wanting to get his pants off. I had seen him before. There have been a few times I gave him a hand job while he used his fingers inside me.

Actually that happened everyday on my couch after school. We had thirty minutes until my mom got home from work, and then it was all about playing innocent.

We quickly got into the normalcy of kissing on our sides facing each other while touching one another, I started to feel butterflies in my stomach since I knew this was going to end differently. It would end in me losing something I would never get back.

A gift I could only give once. Something I couldn't imagine not giving to Edward.

He was on top, holding himself at my entrance, "I'll go slowly," his breath was labored, and I felt more pressure as he moved inside, with a glorious moan. I was so happy that moan was for me, caused by me. I made him feel that good. "You have to tell me if I'm hurting you." He told me in between heavy breathes.

"I'm fine...keep going," I urged him.

Another inch.

Another glorious moan.

When he was fully inside me, the moan was more of a grunt, and he practically collapsed on me. Burying his face in my neck, breathing heavy, "Shit," he kept saying.

"Still okay?" he asked.

I wouldn't say it felt great physically, it felt different. Emotionally though, I was on a new plane of existence. It didn't make it hard to ignore the slight sting of him moving inside of me.

The pleasure and love I could read on his features, is what I had cherished most about that night.

I loved him so much. I wanted to always make him feel that good.

I had witnessed his features before when he came, but this time it was so different. He held me so close. Told me how much he loved me. We lay together naked in his bed as long as we could, silently staring at each other, our hands slowly moving over one another.

I loved the way his arms felt. The way I fit perfectly in his side. He gently brushed his fingertips up and down my sides, along my ribs, skimmed the side of breast.

"I'll love you forever," he told me.

_Who would have thought that forever could be severed by the sharp knife of a short life_

"I'll wait for you forever."

I never thought I would have had a sweet sixteen. I thought if I did make it that far, I'd be on my death bed. My headaches were becoming more frequent, and I had these seizures a few times. They weren't even that noticeable. I didn't convulse. My body would get tense and my arms would jerk slightly. Afterwards, I would have trouble speaking.

It only happened a few times. They wanted to put me on medication for it, but I refused. Edward made me promise if they got more frequent or more intense to take the medication. I agreed.

There was no new medicine or cure, only the happiness Edward Cullen brought into my life every day. The best kind of medicine in the world, love. The doctors said keeping a happy mind was half the battle in keeping a healthy body.

My sweet sixteen wasn't huge. I didn't invite half the school or get a new car. Besides my family, I only invited Angela, her boyfriend Ben, and Edward.

We went up to my family's lake house for the weekend.

Saturday after lunch, I took Edward's hand and led him to my favorite spot. It was a huge waterfall surrounded by thick trees.

I hadn't been there in four years. I remember Jasper always jumping from the top. I was too afraid. Edward was in his bathing suit and a wife beater; I was just in my bikini.

Edward and I stood at the top of the waterfall looking down, "Do you trust me?" I asked him.

"With my life."

"Jump with me." I took his hand, and then kicked off my flip flops.

That's all I had to say, we took a leap of faith together that day.

The impact of the water separated us beneath the water, but when we surfaced, we were both laughing from the rush.

"I think this is yours," Edward chuckled handing me the white bikini top that was floating on the top of the water.

I didn't take it from him instead, I slipped out of my bottoms then threw them at him, landing right on his face.

"What if your father comes looking for us?" Edward asked. "Or worse, your brother!"

"Live a little, Edward," I told him, swimming to a shallow part of the river.

"Fuck," he mumbled, pulling his soaked wife beater off, then his swimming trunks. He tossed our clothes on a rock, then swam over to me.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, my arms around his neck. We kissed for a long time before he entered me.

That was my first and only orgasm I experienced from him being inside me. His lips were on my neck, biting, sucking as I controlled the movement. Grinding up and down.

"That's it baby. Come for me," He panted, spurring me to create more friction where I needed it most.

The pleasure was building inside me, and hearing Edward talk quietly in a strained voice made me vibrate from the inside out.

I was silent when my orgasm finally hit. Edward held me close, our breathing labored for a long while as we floated in the river.

We skinny dipped a little longer, which wasn't the best idea. Everyone came to look for us.

We darted for the rock with our clothes and hurried to get dressed, but I put my bottoms on inside out.

Which didn't go unnoticed, as my father pointed out - along with the hickey on my neck.

"Oh...I jumped in...they slipped off," I tried to lie, ignoring the hickey comment. I'm not sure if everyone believed me or they weren't going to begrudge me the experience of being with a boy that, clear as day, loved me.

The sun peeked through the trees onto that rock where I sat with Angela as Ben, Jasper and Edward all kept jumping in the water. My father was fishing down the river a little ways away, while Alice and my mom set up a picnic area.

"You didn't tell me you and Edward had...sex," Angela whispered.

I squinted against the sun, "I...it's just personal, I guess." I didn't want her feelings to be hurt that I didn't tell her that.

"Ben wants to...but I'm not sure."

"Don't do it then. You have your whole life."

I watched my father in the distance, and excused myself to go spend some time with my him. We sat and fished with the rest of the afternoon.

We grilled chicken and the trout that I caught that night. Dad was so proud of me. I caught five fish. He didn't get any. We built a campfire, and made s'mores. When my parents went in to bed, Jasper broke out the beer.

"You're sixteen...I think you should live a little," he told me, tossing me a cold can.

I didn't care for the taste, but after the second one, it didn't matter much.

Edward put his beer down to walk into the woods to use the little boys room. That's when Jasper came over, putting his arm around me, and kissing the top of my head.

"You are the bravest person I know," he told me.

It meant a lot to me to hear him say that, after all the teasing I endured as the younger sister.

Things started to get louder. I started to get sloppy...and horny.

"Babe, stop," Edward whispered in my ear. My hands were all over his chest. My lips and tongue all over his neck.

"Why? I don't wanna," I argued. "It's my party and I'll do what I want to," I pretend pouted.

"Just...I don't think your brother likes watching his baby sister dry hump her boyfriend and I'm not going to tell you again to keep your shirt on."

"Why you want to do that part?"

He laughed at me, and the rest of the night I drank water. Edward and I fell asleep in the hammock, gazing at the stars, into the heavens.

The next day, Edward let me drive his car. There was not a lot of traffic on the dirt roads, or police.

I put my foot on the gas too hard, jerking the car forward which freaked me out. I wasn't prepared for that much power. So I slammed on the brakes, again jerking us backward.

"Holy shit Bella! Gentle, babe!"

I was laughing too hard though. Jerk forward. Jerk to a stop. It was the pattern the first mile down the road. All of it filled with laughter. Edward braced himself on the dashboard, telling me to take it easy.

We stopped on the dirt road, off to the side under a big willow tree a few miles down from the house.

Edward turned on the radio and started playing a CD. "I made this for you," he told me after a few minutes of listening. "It's all the love songs that make me think about you."

"It's beautiful, Edward." I placed my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes and listening to the words.

He opened the glove box, and pulled out a little square box with a red bow. "And I got you this."

"I told you not to get me anything, and now you got me two things," I scolded him, taking the box.

I slipped the bow off then lifted the lid to the box. Inside was a black woven bracelet with sliver beads spelling out Bella. On either side there were grey crystals.

Grey matters...it was the color of the brain cancer ribbons.

"Thank you," I told him taking the bracelet out. "Help me put it on?" I asked.

He clasped the bracelet, and I pecked his lips.

We had a cake that night. Mom scolded Jasper for giving us beer the night before. Edward told them what an awful driver I was, and teaching me stick shift was probably a lost cause if I couldn't even handle an automatic.

"Don't blame me for my shitty coordination!" I argued.

"Language, young lady!" Mom scolded me.

"Sorry," I told her shyly.

Junior year started to get in a full swing. I went to homecoming with Edward. We talked about Senior prom since he was a year ahead of me.

We were at lunch talking, I said "This pizza sucks today," and when Edward looked at me like I was crazy, I said, "What, you like this crap?"

"What are...Bella...are you okay?"

Am I okay? I was fine. I didn't understand. That's when I had my first huge seizure. Right in the middle of the cafeteria. Edward held my head for the two minutes it lasted while everyone gathered around me.

The school called an ambulance, and I knew it was the beginning of the end. Edward told me I was talking nonsense before it happened. I said something like, "Blue aliens were swimming in the trees."

"Bella...do you trust me?" he asked me that night in the hospital.

"With my life," I echoed his words.

"I know you don't want to suffer like this...I don't want to be here without you...come with me."

"I - what are you saying, Edward?" I asked him so confused.

"Let's get in my car and go up to that waterfall...and be together...forever."

"If you're suggesting we pull some Romeo and Juliet shit...you're out of your mind. I won't let you do that."

"Please, Bella. I can't live in a world where you don't exist."

"I will still exist, Edward...just not in the same way. You have the chance to have a wonderful full life, do you know what I wouldn't give to have that? Promise me Edward... promise me that you will live - for both of us."

He just cried and nodded his head in agreement.

Everything began to unravel that winter. The seizures got more frequent. The headaches became more constant.

My medications kept increasing, the doctors assuring me they were to help me be more comfortable. I couldn't even go to school anymore.

Edward came over to see me every day, thankfully the end wasn't long. I told my mom one day before I lost my mind, to make sure Edward got the bracelet he gave me.

She cried, agreeing. I started to ask a lot of people to do things for me, things I let them ignore as long as I could. I Just couldn't anymore, death wasn't hiding inside me anymore.

I told Edward to write the words to that song he quoted the first time we had sex. He couldn't handle making many promises that had to do with laying me to rest. Some days it seemed as if I was the only one willing to deal with that part of the future.

My soul left my body a few days before my body gave in and died. I didn't know who anyone was around me when I was conscious. I couldn't speak, and when I did, it made no sense.

The day I left, my parents had left to go run a few errands, asking Edward to sit with me. They both kissed me, with no idea that it was the last time they would see me alive.

The CD Edward made me played softly in the background. Edward was holding my hand when I opened my eyes. I watched, wishing my body would let go so I could be free to go. "Pretty," I whispered, bringing my hand up to his cheek.

Edward looked like a man on fire. I needed him to know I was okay. I touched my other hand, it took all my energy to get the clarity I needed for those few seconds. I did it though - for Edward.

"Don't forget your promise," I whispered. His eyes got wide, he squeezed my hand.

"Bella?" He wiped his wet cheeks. "God...I love you, baby."

"I love you too...but I have to go. I've had just enough time."

He stroked my hair his face got closer and his lips touched mine. I remember the salty taste of his tears.

That was my last breath, my last taste. I couldn't have died happier.

After that...I had to go. I couldn't watch them all so upset.

I wanted to give them some comfort. Tell them I was better than okay. That death wasn't the end.

Which I suppose brings me back to where I started; my new earthly home. My gravesite.

Mom tried to stop Edward from leaving so quickly. But he couldn't handle the pain that was left in his chest upon my death.

She did what I requested though. A few days later she knocked on the Cullens' front door.

Edward answered. "Bella wanted you to have this," she gave him the bracelet.

I think it reminded him of what he said he would do for me. Live. It took him a few more days to put the bracelet on, but after that he rarely took it off.

He lived for me, every day of what felt like forever to him.

Then one moment in a series of moments in forever no one could ever measure, my heaven was complete.

"You kept your promise," he smiled brightly walking toward me, bathed in beautiful light.

"And you kept yours," I smiled back.

We were exactly where we were meant to be, together. Forever.

There were no sharp knives to cut anything short here in heaven.

This is our happily ever after.


End file.
